# Things just for you

Ten for each stage, ordered by what getting them wrong actually costs.

Two things to know before you start. Nothing in this system happens because it ought to happen — it happens because someone asked, and then asked again, and wrote down when they asked. And the Bureau of Prisons will not proactively tell you anything, ever. Every piece of information you get, you will have gone and found.

## Scope — The handbook beats me

Local rules vary enormously between institutions and they change constantly. Every facility publishes an admission and orientation handbook and it's usually outdated. It takes precedence over anything written here. Find it, read it, keep it.

This is the short form for those who want it short. [The family guide](/federal-prison-for-families/guide) covers this stuff at length, and [the family FAQ](/federal-prison-for-families/faq) answers questions one at a time.

## Pick your stage

### [1. Before they go](/federal-prison-for-families/checklist/ten-things-before-they-report)

Most of this period belongs to them. Your part is narrow, has deadlines, and is easy to miss entirely.

### [2. While they're in](/federal-prison-for-families/checklist/ten-things-while-theyre-inside)

This is the stage where what you do changes the outcome. It is also the stage nobody tells you that you have a job at all.

### [3. As they come home](/federal-prison-for-families/checklist/ten-things-before-they-come-home)

Everyone expects this to be the easy part. It is frequently the hardest, and most of the difficulty is not the part you are bracing for.

## There is stuff for them, too

Thirty items on [their side](/going-to-federal-prison/checklist), covering the same three stages from the view from the inside. The two lists barely overlap, which why this one exists separately.

Print their and hand it to them before they report. They will not be able to look it up later.

**Need help with this? Just ask.**

These pages cover the general rules. Your situation has details they don't. Email me a question. **Answers are free** , and "you don't need to pay anyone for this" is my most common answer.

[josh@federalprisondude.com](mailto:josh@federalprisondude.com?subject=Family%20question)

I answer in the order received, usually within a couple of days. I have a day job. If your situation genuinely needs more than an email, I take a limited number of consults, so say so and we'll work it out.