For families

# Mail

Mail is the highest-volume source of frustration for families, entirely because the rules are rigid, unposted in places, and enforced without judgment.

The incentive

## Why it is like this

Understand why before you learn the specifics: nobody in the mailroom is paid to decide whether your letter is fine. If they let something through and it turns out to be a problem, that is on them personally. If they reject it and you are upset, that is on nobody. Discretion runs one direction, and it runs toward rejection.

**So the goal is not to be reasonable. The goal is to be unrejectable.**

The envelope

## Addressing

Every piece of mail needs their committed name, their register number, and the institution's mailing address in the exact format the facility specifies. Missing or wrong register numbers are the most common reason mail never arrives.

Your own full name and complete return address must be on the envelope. Incomplete return addresses get rejected.

Check whether their facility processes general correspondence centrally or scans incoming mail rather than delivering the original. Both arrangements exist, both change the address you use, and using the old one means it goes nowhere.

The list

## What gets rejected

- Stickers of any kind, including return address labels and decorative seals;
- anything with glitter, glue, tape, or attached embellishment;
- musical or oversized greeting cards, and cards with padding or layers;
- lipstick marks, perfume, or anything applied to the paper;
- crayon, marker, or heavy ink in some facilities;
- water damage or staining;
- blank paper, blank envelopes, or postage stamps enclosed;
- cash, personal checks, or gift cards;
- Polaroid photographs, because of what can be concealed in the backing;
- photographs beyond the per-envelope limit, or that are sexually explicit, or that show anything resembling gang signs;
- and anything over the page limit.

Page limits exist nearly everywhere and vary by institution. Confirm yours and stay under it.

The hard one

## Children's artwork

This is the one that hurts. Drawings in crayon, anything with glued-on material, and anything glittered will come back. Have them draw in pencil or pen on plain paper and you will usually be fine.

Reading material

## Books, magazines, and newspapers

These generally must arrive directly from a publisher or an approved retailer. You cannot mail them a book you already own, and you cannot mail them one you bought at a store. Order it and have it shipped.

When it bounces

## Rejection

Rejected mail is usually returned to you, sometimes with a notice explaining why and sometimes without. They may never know it existed.

If letters stop arriving and you do not know why, that is worth a call to the unit team (the staff who run your daily life) — but check your envelope against the list above first, because it is nearly always something on it.

The exception

## Legal mail

Correspondence from their attorney has special handling and is opened in their presence rather than in the mailroom. It has to be marked correctly to receive that treatment, which is the lawyer's responsibility, not yours.

The correspondence rules, annotated: [Program Statement 5265.14](/resources/program-statements/5265-14-correspondence).

Keep reading — part 4 of 12

### [Visiting](/for-families/guide/visiting)

Visits are the best thing you can give your person and the process for arranging them is deliberately slow.

**Need help with this? Just ask.**

These pages cover the general rules. Your situation has details they don't. Email me a question. **Answers are free** , and "you don't need to pay anyone for this" is my most common answer.

[josh@federalprisondude.com](mailto:josh@federalprisondude.com?subject=Family%20question)

I answer in the order received, usually within a couple of days. I have a day job. If your situation genuinely needs more than an email, I take a limited number of consults, so say so and we'll work it out.