Federal prison FAQ

# Family and visits

Getting people approved, what your kids should be told, and what happens when someone dies while you are in.

The visiting room

## Getting people in

### When can my family visit?

Depends on the facility. It is in the handbook, and the approval process takes weeks, so start it before you go.

Days, hours, and how crowded the room gets vary enormously by institution — [the facility guide](/resources/facilities) tracks it per place. The rules underneath it are [PS 5267.09](/resources/program-statements/5267-09-visiting-regulations).

### Why did my visitor get denied?

Ask your counselor (front-line staffer for phone, visits, jobs). The usual causes are an incomplete form or something on their record.

Both are fixable and neither gets fixed on its own. [The visiting chapter of the family guide](/for-families/guide/visiting) walks the person on the outside through it.

### Can my kids come?

Yes.

### Can I hug my partner?

Very briefly, at the beginning and end of the visit.

### Can I get married in there?

Yes.

Your kids

## What they get told

### Should I tell my kids where I am?

Absolutely.

### Will my kids be okay?

Mostly it depends on the adults around them.

Kids do better when they are told the truth in a way that fits their age and kept in contact. Cover stories collapse, and the collapse is worse than the truth would have been.

The hard ones

## Loss, from inside

### What if my relationship doesn't survive?

I am sorry. It happens a great deal and there is not much comfort to offer about it.

The practical version: do not spend your minutes on it. [The head stuff](/going-in/faq/the-head-stuff#partner-leaves) is where that one lives.

### What if someone dies while I'm in?

The chaplain (staffer who runs religion and delivers bad news) notifies you, and they generally handle it well.

If you are lucky you may get a furlough (a rare temporary authorized absence) for the funeral. It is unlikely.

### Can I go to a funeral?

Unlikely.

It is not impossible — escorted trips exist and they are rare, expensive for the institution, and denied far more often than granted. Ask anyway. Ask immediately, in writing, and have your family ask from their side at the same time.

Next section — part 14 of 16

### [Work and programs](/going-in/faq/work-and-programs)

You will be assigned a job whether or not you find one first. Which ones are worth having, and why programming is not really optional.

For your people

## Hand the rest of this site to your family

You will not be able to look things up once you're inside. They can, and this is where: [everything written for the one waiting](/for-families) — a twelve-part guide to mail, visiting, money, and your release date, plus their own FAQ and checklist. Alongside it, a [guide to every facility](/resources/facilities) with [email alerts when visiting stops](/lockdown-alerts/subscribe), the [support group directory](/resources/support-groups), calculators for your release math, and [free answers](/contact) when they have questions.

Send them the link before you report, not after they can't reach you.

**Need help with this? Just ask.**

These pages cover the general rules. Your situation has details they don't. Email me a question. **Answers are free** , and "you don't need to pay anyone for this" is my most common answer.

[josh@federalprisondude.com](mailto:josh@federalprisondude.com?subject=FAQ%20question)

I answer in the order received, usually within a couple of days. I have a day job. If your situation genuinely needs more than an email, I take a limited number of consults, so say so and we'll work it out.