While you're in federal prison

The unwritten rules

None of these are posted anywhere. All of them are enforced.

The absolute one

Property

Do not touch anything that is not yours. Not to move it, not to borrow it, not to look at it. This is the closest thing to an absolute rule in the building, and violating it accidentally is the most common way a new person creates a problem.

If something of yours is in someone's way, they will tell you. Do the same.

Territory

Space

Do not sit on another person's bunk. Do not stand in their area. Do not lean on their locker while you are talking to them.

Shared equipment

The television, the microwave, the phone, the laundry

Televisions are governed — by schedule, by informal claim, or by whoever has established rights to certain programming. Ask before you touch one. Sports schedules in particular are settled well in advance.

The microwave, the phone, and the laundry all run on turns. Take yours, do not exceed it, do not leave your property sitting in the machine, and do not remove someone else's to make room for yours. Clean the microwave when you are done.

Phones especially: do not hover near someone who is on a call, and end yours when your time is up rather than when your conversation is.

Lines: do not cut, and do not hold a place for somebody who is not standing there.

Hygiene

Showers, and cleanliness as an obligation

Showers: wear shoes, do not linger, and do not look at anyone.

Units are inspected, and the results affect everyone — often determining which unit goes to chow and commissary first, which is the only thing that guarantees the stock has not run out. Your area is not a personal matter. Treat it accordingly.

Conversation

What not to ask

The details of someone's case beyond what they volunteer;
whether anyone cooperated, ever, under any circumstances;
how much time someone has left, if they have a lot;
and anything about anyone's family situation.

The other half

What not to volunteer

Your money. Not what you had, not what you have, not what is coming to you, not what your restitution number is.

The population comes overwhelmingly from people who had very little on the outside. Discussing your finances is the fastest way to become a target for a debt arrangement, a loan request, or resentment that has nowhere useful to go. A sentence beginning with the words "we kept trying to make more" has no good ending in here.

Keep reading — part 4 of 9

Debt

Debt causes more problems than anything else in this guide. There is no cash in here, so almost everything you do economically creates one, and new arrivals walk into that without recognizing it.

For your people

Hand the rest of this site to your family

You will not be able to look things up once you're inside. They can, and this is where: everything written for the one waiting — a twelve-part guide to mail, visiting, money, and your release date, plus their own FAQ and checklist. Alongside it, a guide to every facility with email alerts when visiting stops, the support group directory, calculators for your release math, and free answers when they have questions.

Send them the link before you report, not after they can't reach you.

Need help with this? Just ask.

These pages cover the general rules. Your situation has details they don't. Email me a question. Answers are free, and "you don't need to pay anyone for this" is my most common answer.

josh@federalprisondude.com

I answer in the order received, usually within a couple of days. I have a day job. If your situation genuinely needs more than an email, I take a limited number of consults, so say so and we'll work it out.

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