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Federal prison FAQ

Body and hygiene

Soap, showers, haircuts, and the discovery that nobody in the building is looking at your body the way you assume they are.

Keeping clean

The daily part

Where do I go to take care of myself?

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The shower.

If you meant the other thing, it is the same answer, and the rules around it are in sex, loneliness, and the body.

How often should I shower?

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Every day.

How often should I wash my stuff?

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Every chance you get.

Do I need shower shoes?

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Yes. You are doing the shower stuff in there. So is everyone else.

Can I shave? With what?

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Yes. Razors are on commissary.

How do I get more toilet paper?

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Buy it if commissary carries it. Otherwise, newspaper.

What if I need the bathroom and there's a line?

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Treat it like any other line. Ask. “Hey, is it cool if I go, I'm about to pop” works fine and nobody will make it weird.

What happens if I get lice, scabies, or foot fungus?

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I have no idea. It never came up for me and I am not going to invent an answer.

If you know the answer to this one, send it to me and I will write it up and credit nobody, which is how everyone seems to prefer it.

Supplies

Who pays for the soap

Do I get my own soap, toothpaste, and deodorant, or do I have to buy it?

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You buy it at commissary.

If you cannot afford commissary, tell your counselor you are indigent and they will issue you the basics. This is a real process and you should use it rather than going without.

When you first arrive, your car will give you a care package.

What do I do until my first commissary?

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Live off that care package. It exists for exactly this reason and accepting it is normal.

If your car does not give you one, you will need to find someone who is genuinely kind. They exist.

What you should not do is accept an unsolicited kit from a stranger outside that process. The debt chapter covers why.

Can I get a haircut? Who cuts it and what does it cost?

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Yes. There are dedicated barbers, some of them good. At my facility it was five or ten dollars depending on who was cutting.

That is one line item in a whole service economy, and the going rates for the rest of it are in the economy.

What do I do about my hair if nobody there cuts hair like mine?

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Suffer. It grows back.

The body itself

Fitness, size, and equipment

Can I work out? Where? Is there weight equipment?

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Yes, and usually. Rec and the yard are where it happens.

What if I'm out of shape, overweight, or disabled?

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Nobody cares what you look like. This is not a place where anyone is evaluating your physique.

If you have a genuine disability, medical handles accommodations — lower bunk pass, lower tier, mobility equipment. Get it documented early rather than fighting for it later.

The policy behind that is PS 5200.06, Management of Inmates With Disabilities, and citing it in writing works better than describing your knee to somebody at mainline.

What about my CPAP, insulin, hearing aid, or prosthetic?

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All available. Medical will handle it.

Arrive with documentation rather than a description. The rest of how medical actually works is in the medical section.

Next section — part 2 of 16

Cellies and living space

Who you sleep next to, how much of that you control, and what to do when it goes wrong. Less than you would like, and more than you expect.

For your people

Hand the rest of this site to your family

You will not be able to look things up once you're inside. They can, and this is where: everything written for the one waiting — a twelve-part guide to mail, visiting, money, and your release date, plus their own FAQ and checklist. Alongside it, a guide to every facility with email alerts when visiting stops, the support group directory, calculators for your release math, and free answers when they have questions.

Send them the link before you report, not after they can't reach you.

Need help with this? Just ask.

These pages cover the general rules. Your situation has details they don't. Email me a question. Answers are free, and "you don't need to pay anyone for this" is my most common answer.

josh@federalprisondude.com

I answer in the order received, usually within a couple of days. I have a day job. If your situation genuinely needs more than an email, I take a limited number of consults, so say so and we'll work it out.

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If this answered something, it'll answer it for someone else too.